I tried this a few years ago with Dave Woerpel, known as "The Mailman." He got that nickname because he really is a mailman in the Woodmar section of Hammond, where he lives also, and also because he used to write a column for me when I published a 50,000 circulation newspaper called "The Calumet Press."
The segment - "JED and the Mailman Read People" - worked well enough in that we're both kinda wise guys and when you're a wise guy you can wise crack your way through just about anything for a good ten minutes. Then your wise guy shit gets kinda old, especially if you don't know who most of the people that they're talking about in People are. Then you're just bullshitting instead of wise guying and who wants that?
So I went ahead and read a good portion of the People magazine that's on the kitchen table right now. Did you know that there's a growing sect of Christian fundamentalists who believe that a woman must make herself available on-demand for her husband's sexual fulfillment? Did you know that in some of these "sects" that if a man commits adultery you can blame it on the wife for not fulfilling her husband enough? That's not necessarily fodder for the ride to school in the morning but it's something you should know.
Maybe I'll call it that instead... Something you should know. You tell me.
For now, know that I hung out with a radio legend this morning - Javier Canchola. He played his Mexican trio and other music and then made announcements and told a few jokes - all of it in Spanish. After his two-hour show on WJOB, he asked me to go to breakfast and of course I declined again (what a shuck). This time it was because I had to drive to Chicago during the triathlon and move a mattress three blocks from one Lincoln Park apartment to my daughter's Lincoln Park apartment. Alexis came with me and it took us two hours to get to the first apartment... and about ten minutes to take the bed to the daughter's apartment. Then we had perhaps the best tacos in Chicago (Alexis - steak. Me - fish tacos) at McGee's on Webster under the el tracks. Since we both drank enough for a sailor in the past four days we didn't have any craft beers, but we did have plenty of homemade salsa and pico de gallo. My breath right now is horrible. But who cares?
So is Alexis's.
You see... there's that wise guy stuff surfacing again. I don't know if her breath is horrible or not right now. I'm just extrapolating from my data pool of one, which I just gatherered from a silent but relatively harmful birp. But it sounds good to say that her breath, too, is horrible, and that's pretty much all that matters to a true wise guy.
Anyways, maybe in three weeks when I'll be around to go in on a Sunday morning again Javier and I can go for breakfast. Sorry old buddy... I'm just way too freaking busy trying to live up to my own billing as local radio guy.
Javier deserves better. He did his first broadcast on WJOB in 1970 and here we are 45 years later and he's still doing it. Even harder to believe is that he's like 77 years old and he still works in the steel mill almost every day... and he's been doing it since 1958. Since it's Sunday night and I've already turned my brain off, I can't even add up how many years that is at the mill. You tell me. It's a lot. Good night.