 | Wednesday, June 12, 2024 By now, you've heard that John Friend died. He was the football coach at Munster when I played there and was the athletic director at Purdue Calumet - now PNW - for a long time. It's a sad time for a lot of people, mostly his kids Tracy, Jerri and Doug. Complete condolences to the three of you. Doug and I were texting near the end. I rode my bike over to Hartsfield Village where coach Friend was. It was time. The best thing to say is that he will suffer no more. Coach - we already miss you. I miss you. |
It's not like I saw coach Friend every day or even every week. I would run into him at the athletic offices at Purdue Northwest. They had an office for him right up til the end, partly because he was a good fundraiser and partly because what would Purdue Northwest athletics be without John Friend hanging around?
To say that coach Friend had a big impact on my life would be an understatement. I played seventh grade football for him, ran the Fellowship of Christian Athletes with him, took a seat on the prestigious Sportsmanship committee at his behest, and moved my business onto Purdue grounds because he said so. There's a story behind each of these. But the one I want to tell you is about he and my wife.
Do any of you remember when they named the basketball floor at Purdue Northwest "John Friend Court?" They held a huge banquet and coach Friend got up there and thanked a ton of people, singling them out individually and telling a little anecdote about each. He was like that. He didn't like to talk about himself, especially about when he grew up in Cedar Lake. If I had to compare it to someone, it would be Jerry West, who grew up in West Virginia. It's a little ironic in that Jerry West, the former Laker basketball player, died today. In his biography, West said that he was:
"raised in a home, a series of them actually, that was spotless but where I never learned what love was."
I interviewed coach Friend several times. In various interviews, he talked about growing up in Cedar Lake and his dad getting on a bus every day to go to the mill 20 miles away. Coach talked about his dad backhanding him at the dinner table, that his mom was an angel, that they were pretty poor. It was a rather harsh childhood... kind of like Jerry West's. You could put the two of them in the same category.
West and John Friend come from a time when you could be quiet and strong and still get a lot of things done. You could live an example of a life and that would be enough. It's a little different these days. There's a lotta loudmouths running around. John Friend and Jerry West were not loudmouths. They let their actions speak. I can't remember who said it in the past few days since coach Friend died, but someone got it right - "He lived up to the legend." I agree.
Few people would rib coach Friend. He just wasn't that kind of guy. I didn't get the memo and would make fun of him - sometimes to his face, in a column I wrote for the Calumet Press, and on the morning show that I've bee doing for 20 years. Coach listened to my show and although he might have acted a little pestered about me making fun of him, I think he secretly liked being called out . Every man who ever played for John Friend would not make fun of him in any way. Oops.
We had fun making fun of each other, actually. At the dedication of John Friend Court, coach ticked off person after person to thank for naming PNW's court after him. Then he got to me.
"And then there's Jim Dedelow. Where are you, Jimmy?" I raised my hand. "I keep telling his wife Alexis, the lawyer, to leave him, that he doesn't deserve her. Jim outkicked his coverage on this one and one day Alexis is gonna figure that out," coach Friend opened up with. And then he let out a series of barbs. It was if it had built up in him and now that he finally had the microphone and I didn't, he was gonna let me have it.
On the way out, several guys came up to me - 'What did you do to coach Friend. When he got to you, he turned into Don Rickels," one guy said. Most of you reading this probably don't know who Don Rickels was. He was simply the best affront artist in the history of comedy. When he started making fun of Johnny Carson, you stopped what you were doing and you watched the Tonight Show until Rickels was done. A similar phenomena happened at the John Friend Court dedication. The whole place, all 1000 people, got quiet as coach Friend laid into me. I'm the local radio host. A lot of people at the party listen to me. Most of them laughed at me, not with me.
"You deserve this," my buddy Billy Baker whispered to me across the table. "No one should never make fun of John Friend."
I guess, coach. I miss you already. I miss Mike Nicsic and Ed Robertson and Al Spangler and Jerry Haas and the rest of the coaches that tried to tame me. I was wild, as you predicted I would be when I went out to California. Berkeley did me in. I was lucky to get out. I probably wouldn't have gotten out if it wasn't for the discipline you and the men you hired instilled in us, all of us, anyone who ever put on the pads for you or donned a Pipers-Lakers-Pride uniform.
Your wake and funeral are next week. A ton of grown men will cry. I'll probably be one of them. But it's my blog so I'm gonna take one more shot. I never understood what it was with you about Alexis. Yes, she's pretty and smart and has a hold over me like no one ever has. You and she liked to kibbutz at events, if for no other reason than to make fun of me. I never understood it, but I liked it. Now that you're gone, I channeled my inner Don Rickels to figure it out. And here it is.
I think you just had a thing for Mexican women.
RIP John Friend - He lived up to the legend
.......
Later... Every once in a while you get together with your high school buddies and talk smack to each other and play golf. That's what I did today. As you know, I'm off from the show from Memorial Day to July 4th. I thought I needed a break. But now that I have one, I don't want it. I can't wait to get back to the show. I'm not scheduled to return until July 8th. Not sure I can wait that long.
I played golf with Bill Baker, Dennis Wood and Jeff Von Almen, who came in from Colorado. His dad, Jerry, recently passed. Jerry used to work for Dedelow Inc., a construction company my dad and uncle once ran. Jerry was a Boilermaker or Pipe Fitter, I can't remember which. They walk around with the same gait and toughness but do different things, especially in the mill. I went to Jerry's wake last week and saw a ton of people I knew from going to high school at Munster in the late 1970s.
To say that coach Friend had a big impact on my life would be an understatement. I played seventh grade football for him, ran the Fellowship of Christian Athletes with him, took a seat on the prestigious Sportsmanship committee at his behest, and moved my business onto Purdue grounds because he said so. There's a story behind each of these. But the one I want to tell you is about he and my wife.
Do any of you remember when they named the basketball floor at Purdue Northwest "John Friend Court?" They held a huge banquet and coach Friend got up there and thanked a ton of people, singling them out individually and telling a little anecdote about each. He was like that. He didn't like to talk about himself, especially about when he grew up in Cedar Lake. If I had to compare it to someone, it would be Jerry West, who grew up in West Virginia. It's a little ironic in that Jerry West, the former Laker basketball player, died today. In his biography, West said that he was:
"raised in a home, a series of them actually, that was spotless but where I never learned what love was."
I interviewed coach Friend several times. In various interviews, he talked about growing up in Cedar Lake and his dad getting on a bus every day to go to the mill 20 miles away. Coach talked about his dad backhanding him at the dinner table, that his mom was an angel, that they were pretty poor. It was a rather harsh childhood... kind of like Jerry West's. You could put the two of them in the same category.
West and John Friend come from a time when you could be quiet and strong and still get a lot of things done. You could live an example of a life and that would be enough. It's a little different these days. There's a lotta loudmouths running around. John Friend and Jerry West were not loudmouths. They let their actions speak. I can't remember who said it in the past few days since coach Friend died, but someone got it right - "He lived up to the legend." I agree.
Few people would rib coach Friend. He just wasn't that kind of guy. I didn't get the memo and would make fun of him - sometimes to his face, in a column I wrote for the Calumet Press, and on the morning show that I've bee doing for 20 years. Coach listened to my show and although he might have acted a little pestered about me making fun of him, I think he secretly liked being called out . Every man who ever played for John Friend would not make fun of him in any way. Oops.
We had fun making fun of each other, actually. At the dedication of John Friend Court, coach ticked off person after person to thank for naming PNW's court after him. Then he got to me.
"And then there's Jim Dedelow. Where are you, Jimmy?" I raised my hand. "I keep telling his wife Alexis, the lawyer, to leave him, that he doesn't deserve her. Jim outkicked his coverage on this one and one day Alexis is gonna figure that out," coach Friend opened up with. And then he let out a series of barbs. It was if it had built up in him and now that he finally had the microphone and I didn't, he was gonna let me have it.
On the way out, several guys came up to me - 'What did you do to coach Friend. When he got to you, he turned into Don Rickels," one guy said. Most of you reading this probably don't know who Don Rickels was. He was simply the best affront artist in the history of comedy. When he started making fun of Johnny Carson, you stopped what you were doing and you watched the Tonight Show until Rickels was done. A similar phenomena happened at the John Friend Court dedication. The whole place, all 1000 people, got quiet as coach Friend laid into me. I'm the local radio host. A lot of people at the party listen to me. Most of them laughed at me, not with me.
"You deserve this," my buddy Billy Baker whispered to me across the table. "No one should never make fun of John Friend."
I guess, coach. I miss you already. I miss Mike Nicsic and Ed Robertson and Al Spangler and Jerry Haas and the rest of the coaches that tried to tame me. I was wild, as you predicted I would be when I went out to California. Berkeley did me in. I was lucky to get out. I probably wouldn't have gotten out if it wasn't for the discipline you and the men you hired instilled in us, all of us, anyone who ever put on the pads for you or donned a Pipers-Lakers-Pride uniform.
Your wake and funeral are next week. A ton of grown men will cry. I'll probably be one of them. But it's my blog so I'm gonna take one more shot. I never understood what it was with you about Alexis. Yes, she's pretty and smart and has a hold over me like no one ever has. You and she liked to kibbutz at events, if for no other reason than to make fun of me. I never understood it, but I liked it. Now that you're gone, I channeled my inner Don Rickels to figure it out. And here it is.
I think you just had a thing for Mexican women.
RIP John Friend - He lived up to the legend
.......
Later... Every once in a while you get together with your high school buddies and talk smack to each other and play golf. That's what I did today. As you know, I'm off from the show from Memorial Day to July 4th. I thought I needed a break. But now that I have one, I don't want it. I can't wait to get back to the show. I'm not scheduled to return until July 8th. Not sure I can wait that long.
I played golf with Bill Baker, Dennis Wood and Jeff Von Almen, who came in from Colorado. His dad, Jerry, recently passed. Jerry used to work for Dedelow Inc., a construction company my dad and uncle once ran. Jerry was a Boilermaker or Pipe Fitter, I can't remember which. They walk around with the same gait and toughness but do different things, especially in the mill. I went to Jerry's wake last week and saw a ton of people I knew from going to high school at Munster in the late 1970s.
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