I can't be the
only one who
feels the craziness
of our times. It's as if
we're near an end.
only one who
feels the craziness
of our times. It's as if
we're near an end.
Sunlight highlights
drops of water
on the windowsill... pure,
clear and primordial
without regret.
There are parts of
me you can’t see.
They’re too painful ugly
embarrassing and way
too many screams.
Just because you’re
an artist, it
doesn’t mean you can go
around thinking you are
better than us.
Just because you’re
a musician,
it doesn’t mean you can
do drugs and not get hooked.
You’re just like us.
Just because you’re
a poet, it
doesn’t mean you see things
any more clearly than
Kevin Swarthout.
I think in short
stanzas, and I
pee in a toilet that
runs every night around
7:30.
My daughter sits
next to the old
radio on my desk. We are
smiling at Buckingham
Fountain today.
We were supposed
to meet at Moe's
Bookstore. She didn't show,
so I drank alone
at Kip's all night.
Everything made
sense for about
ten minutes on a drive down
I-65 on a
Sunday morning.
The Chicago
bean looks like a
mistake from the midnight
shift at Inland Steel in
1990.
Define respect
for me, will you?
The other day I called my
brother-in-law a clown.
Where does that land?
grass stains on your
shoulder, pebbles
in your underwear. What
in God's name were you two
doing last night?
Drink a cup of
coffee then lay
back down. You may not sleep,
but you can hear your heart
tick away time.
Flower pots and
blankets, cardboard
boxes and open-toed
shoes. So many things to
not care about.
A woman in
a red dress speaks
a language I can't make
out but with her I would
like to. Kiss kiss.
Gray is now your
color. It used
to be blue but you wore
it so much that it lost
its charm on you.
If you're looking
for a good beach,
don't go to Key West. It's
all rock. Sunova Beach
is much better.
Have no plan and
write. Shun goals and
strategy and just do.
Pee all day, but in the
morning, just pooh.
Alka Seltzer
takes away the
pain that goes with drinking
too much and saying shit
you shouldn't have.
A tiger on
a backboard turned
out to be a Panther
in a cage at sunset
over Griffith.
It's all about
accomplishment.
You gotta do things in life.
You can't just be a good
and kind person.
Measure yourself
by money and
accolades, what your peers
think of you, and not by -
have you been kind?
The ultimate
win is one that
is unseen. Late at night,
alone with your belly,
ask yourself this -
Have I been kind?
No. There's lots of
kind people. They do not
matter. What counts is are
you open to love?
Love, love, love, work,
work, work. Tolstoy
gathered both into a
nice little outline for
us to follow.
Tomatoes in
the backyard of
the house of a single
mother in East LA
grow wildly.
Morning show clown
heats up tea in
a microwave that beeps
so loud you can hear it
driving around.
Crunchy cornflakes
in a condo
on Palm Beach contrast with
the crash of surf on rocks
that chew nothing.
Peace and quiet
will be there when
you are dead. Until then,
enjoy the noise of a
blown exhaust pipe.
to miss a scene
is blasphemy
8 millimeter films
in the basement show sex
in black and white
her son kicks a
soccer ball in
the air while she prunes her
tomatoes of all the silt
in east LA
let the spreadsheet
add up all the
numbers in a column
you've got more important
things to get done
an unmarked grave
by the Subway
in Hammond taught me to
respect the dignity
of a baby
if you say it
too directly
you'll scare the kids and they
won't be able to sleep
neither will you
serenity
rocks on an end
table painted white next
to a jar of Goop make
it hard to piss
California
Huntington Beach
Orange County Anaheim
I-5 debacle turns
us all to slime
bicep ego
foundation... egg
on your face too much weight
it's not over but it's
sure getting late
a toad rests on
a lillipad
in a lake full of bugs
snakes fish pontoon boats and
water skiers
Everybody
just comes and goes
until they're replaced by
another group of lost
souls wandering.
Lost again in
America...
hovering between Maine
and Newark with
no place to land
I have lost our
America.
Guns, this is ours. Revenge,
for how you have taken
your ownership
I still rely
on her for strength.
I lay me down, she picks
me up. Repeat. I still
rely on her...
For strength. I lay
me down, she picks
me up. Repeat. I still
rely on her for strength.
I lay me down...
She picks me up.
Repeat. I still
rely on her for strength.
I lay me down, she picks
me up. Repeat...
12 days gone
from memory
forever snowdrift pens
mouths full of celery
and one big fart
Weakness rules on
days like these when
even duct tape on the
desk looks sad, lonely and
way too sticky.
Failure in my
mind, fear in my
heart. I'd like to change it
all around, but I don't
know where to start.
I have carried
the same question
my whole life - have I paid
enough? Still no answer...
waiting... waiting
You sit in a
pew listening
to what a worthless piece
of garbage you are, so
you believe it.
It's a long life
of trying to
unwind the things you learned
as a first grader at
St. Thomas More.
Father Weiss, he
tried his best, but
he couldn't get over the
hardness of growing up
in two big wars.
The grass and leaves
and asphalt road
give you stuff to look at,
but some days it's hard to
find the beauty.
Cover your eyes
and you'll miss the
million whys. Cover your
ears and you'll blot out all
the steers and queers.
I'm a doughnut
in the fridge and
I'm calling your name in
the middle of the night.
Come and get me.
If sleep were that
easy, horses would
do it lying down. If
redemption was real,
we'd all do it.
What I want is
money, and that's
a sorry place to be.
I reject wealth and what
I want for me.
I loved you
before the coos,
the falls, the hugs, the tears
and will again long past
25 years.
Region guy in
a truck on a
snowy Saturday on
his way to coffee and
a jackhammer.
anything can
happen... old wood
floors last til there's fire...
and birds migrate north to
escape the heat
a red and black
bird pecks and pecks
at a branch... looking for
something I can't or won't
or should not see
If mammals are
forced to walk north,
Lake Hudson could become
a tourist destination
for rich people
only dead men
soldiers swim in
the Hudson River... a
huge chain blocks the way to
the promised land
rock bottom is
Cal City on
a rainy day and there's
nothing but clam chowder
in the cupboard
I do love you,
America,
but you must brush your teeth
of all that plaque and phlegm
from bad mojo.
Where did that red
light go? It was
all for show, I know, but it
sure made me feel good
for awhile.
Doesn't matter
where you started,
you're at the beginning.
Wake up, wipe your ass, and
shut the f--- up.
Bells ringing in
the belfry of
your soul on a cold and
windy day in early
November hurts.
Got any more
ways I can judge
myself into the far
corner of a dark room
with no windows?
That's a little
too much to ask
on a Thursday morning
when it snowed all night and
you just farted
Impeach a peach,
acquit a small
kumquat. But bite into
a grape and it's sour,
then that's just it
I don't know where
to go. The snow,
RAILROAD, cargo van
and waitress all have their
place. But not me.
Uncle Charlie
rocked in a white
cradle right before death
to make up for a no
touch childhood
I don't deserve
anything good
that comes my way. And why
that is, I cannot say.
But it's real
drops of water
on the windowsill... pure,
clear and primordial
without regret.
There are parts of
me you can’t see.
They’re too painful ugly
embarrassing and way
too many screams.
Just because you’re
an artist, it
doesn’t mean you can go
around thinking you are
better than us.
Just because you’re
a musician,
it doesn’t mean you can
do drugs and not get hooked.
You’re just like us.
Just because you’re
a poet, it
doesn’t mean you see things
any more clearly than
Kevin Swarthout.
I think in short
stanzas, and I
pee in a toilet that
runs every night around
7:30.
My daughter sits
next to the old
radio on my desk. We are
smiling at Buckingham
Fountain today.
We were supposed
to meet at Moe's
Bookstore. She didn't show,
so I drank alone
at Kip's all night.
Everything made
sense for about
ten minutes on a drive down
I-65 on a
Sunday morning.
The Chicago
bean looks like a
mistake from the midnight
shift at Inland Steel in
1990.
Define respect
for me, will you?
The other day I called my
brother-in-law a clown.
Where does that land?
grass stains on your
shoulder, pebbles
in your underwear. What
in God's name were you two
doing last night?
Drink a cup of
coffee then lay
back down. You may not sleep,
but you can hear your heart
tick away time.
Flower pots and
blankets, cardboard
boxes and open-toed
shoes. So many things to
not care about.
A woman in
a red dress speaks
a language I can't make
out but with her I would
like to. Kiss kiss.
Gray is now your
color. It used
to be blue but you wore
it so much that it lost
its charm on you.
If you're looking
for a good beach,
don't go to Key West. It's
all rock. Sunova Beach
is much better.
Have no plan and
write. Shun goals and
strategy and just do.
Pee all day, but in the
morning, just pooh.
Alka Seltzer
takes away the
pain that goes with drinking
too much and saying shit
you shouldn't have.
A tiger on
a backboard turned
out to be a Panther
in a cage at sunset
over Griffith.
It's all about
accomplishment.
You gotta do things in life.
You can't just be a good
and kind person.
Measure yourself
by money and
accolades, what your peers
think of you, and not by -
have you been kind?
The ultimate
win is one that
is unseen. Late at night,
alone with your belly,
ask yourself this -
Have I been kind?
No. There's lots of
kind people. They do not
matter. What counts is are
you open to love?
Love, love, love, work,
work, work. Tolstoy
gathered both into a
nice little outline for
us to follow.
Tomatoes in
the backyard of
the house of a single
mother in East LA
grow wildly.
Morning show clown
heats up tea in
a microwave that beeps
so loud you can hear it
driving around.
Crunchy cornflakes
in a condo
on Palm Beach contrast with
the crash of surf on rocks
that chew nothing.
Peace and quiet
will be there when
you are dead. Until then,
enjoy the noise of a
blown exhaust pipe.
to miss a scene
is blasphemy
8 millimeter films
in the basement show sex
in black and white
her son kicks a
soccer ball in
the air while she prunes her
tomatoes of all the silt
in east LA
let the spreadsheet
add up all the
numbers in a column
you've got more important
things to get done
an unmarked grave
by the Subway
in Hammond taught me to
respect the dignity
of a baby
if you say it
too directly
you'll scare the kids and they
won't be able to sleep
neither will you
serenity
rocks on an end
table painted white next
to a jar of Goop make
it hard to piss
California
Huntington Beach
Orange County Anaheim
I-5 debacle turns
us all to slime
bicep ego
foundation... egg
on your face too much weight
it's not over but it's
sure getting late
a toad rests on
a lillipad
in a lake full of bugs
snakes fish pontoon boats and
water skiers
Everybody
just comes and goes
until they're replaced by
another group of lost
souls wandering.
Lost again in
America...
hovering between Maine
and Newark with
no place to land
I have lost our
America.
Guns, this is ours. Revenge,
for how you have taken
your ownership
I still rely
on her for strength.
I lay me down, she picks
me up. Repeat. I still
rely on her...
For strength. I lay
me down, she picks
me up. Repeat. I still
rely on her for strength.
I lay me down...
She picks me up.
Repeat. I still
rely on her for strength.
I lay me down, she picks
me up. Repeat...
12 days gone
from memory
forever snowdrift pens
mouths full of celery
and one big fart
Weakness rules on
days like these when
even duct tape on the
desk looks sad, lonely and
way too sticky.
Failure in my
mind, fear in my
heart. I'd like to change it
all around, but I don't
know where to start.
I have carried
the same question
my whole life - have I paid
enough? Still no answer...
waiting... waiting
You sit in a
pew listening
to what a worthless piece
of garbage you are, so
you believe it.
It's a long life
of trying to
unwind the things you learned
as a first grader at
St. Thomas More.
Father Weiss, he
tried his best, but
he couldn't get over the
hardness of growing up
in two big wars.
The grass and leaves
and asphalt road
give you stuff to look at,
but some days it's hard to
find the beauty.
Cover your eyes
and you'll miss the
million whys. Cover your
ears and you'll blot out all
the steers and queers.
I'm a doughnut
in the fridge and
I'm calling your name in
the middle of the night.
Come and get me.
If sleep were that
easy, horses would
do it lying down. If
redemption was real,
we'd all do it.
What I want is
money, and that's
a sorry place to be.
I reject wealth and what
I want for me.
I loved you
before the coos,
the falls, the hugs, the tears
and will again long past
25 years.
Region guy in
a truck on a
snowy Saturday on
his way to coffee and
a jackhammer.
anything can
happen... old wood
floors last til there's fire...
and birds migrate north to
escape the heat
a red and black
bird pecks and pecks
at a branch... looking for
something I can't or won't
or should not see
If mammals are
forced to walk north,
Lake Hudson could become
a tourist destination
for rich people
only dead men
soldiers swim in
the Hudson River... a
huge chain blocks the way to
the promised land
rock bottom is
Cal City on
a rainy day and there's
nothing but clam chowder
in the cupboard
I do love you,
America,
but you must brush your teeth
of all that plaque and phlegm
from bad mojo.
Where did that red
light go? It was
all for show, I know, but it
sure made me feel good
for awhile.
Doesn't matter
where you started,
you're at the beginning.
Wake up, wipe your ass, and
shut the f--- up.
Bells ringing in
the belfry of
your soul on a cold and
windy day in early
November hurts.
Got any more
ways I can judge
myself into the far
corner of a dark room
with no windows?
That's a little
too much to ask
on a Thursday morning
when it snowed all night and
you just farted
Impeach a peach,
acquit a small
kumquat. But bite into
a grape and it's sour,
then that's just it
I don't know where
to go. The snow,
RAILROAD, cargo van
and waitress all have their
place. But not me.
Uncle Charlie
rocked in a white
cradle right before death
to make up for a no
touch childhood
I don't deserve
anything good
that comes my way. And why
that is, I cannot say.
But it's real